Sunday, December 30, 2012

Good Grief

Well I am just about as good as keeping on track with my blog as I am with keeping on track with whole30.  Pre x-mas I was doing alright with staying mostly in touch with my paleo side.  I have been dating so a few drinks spilled down my throat here and there.  But I stayed AWAY from the sugar as though it were a death bomb ready to explode inside my little veins. 
 
Remember my mom??  The one who cooks for a small village during the national event of Thanksgiving??  Unsurprisingly, she likes to top herself during the wonderfully humble event of Christmas.  Alleluia. 

Peanut butter balls, caramels, and star cookies!  Oh my! 

This is how I fell totally off the caveman wagon and had a week-long, sugar-induced coma.
 
 
On Christmas Eve I headed over to my parents' house around noonish (because I didn't have any food to eat in my own house) and opened the door to a cheerful home, adorned with jingle bells, mistletoe, and a fridge full of yummies.  I ate a small portion of those yummies.  My siblings came over to exchange gifts.  I ate a slightly larger portion of those yummies.  My siblings left and I decided to spend the night.  I ate just a few more of those yummies.  And I had sprinkle cookies for breakfast.  It just became a bad habit that I didn't want to break.  The food didn't satisfy me so I just kept shoving it in my big mouth, chasing the dragon.
 
 
Then something happened that led me to eating way more of my mom's wonderful homemade cookies and candies.  Simply stated, my dog bit me on Christmas morning and I ended up with 9 stitches in my hand :( 
 
 
I stayed with my family for another three days and in exchange for room and board, I HAD to help finish off the foodage.  I don't even want to think about the scale.  And my mood is TERRIBLE. Here's to a new year and another month of metabolic reset.
 
I promise I won't be such a dull crab in the next post.  You can thank the kale. 

Friday, November 30, 2012

So Then What??

Okay, so once I fell off the wagon I felt pretty cruddy about my willpower and eating habits and the way my body looked in what were once my sexy jeans.  So I did the best thing I could.  I ran (drove) .6 miles to Zesty's to pick up their flavor of the day.  And an extra pint to bring home just in case my tastebuds desired something differently.  I would so change my eating habits after I have this last bite of Mint Mackinac Fudge.

Umm. In case you didn't notice, Thanksgiving comes after Halloween.  And I'm not so sure about your mother, but mine likes to cook in the event that 87 random people just may show up at the house that day.  "Oh, hey Susie from the 8th grade!  I just had this hunch that you might stop over today!"  In turn this means that there is a ton of food to go around the table twice.  And a ton of food to bring home in multiple tupperware containers that you secretly "forget" to return.  (Who needs couponing!) 

And did you read the last post??? My new beaufriend is the one who got me on this weird healthy junk.  I'm pretty sure I didn't want to throw it out there at the table that I'm now a non-Wisconsinite, also.  As a couple we decided it would just be best to put our social needs ahead of our dietary needs and inDULGE.  Black Friday = Whole 30.

Yum. Yum. Yum.  Thanksgiving was so delish.  Did you ever eat pumpkin roll?  It has been a T-day tradition foreva.  It is basically sugar, wrapped up in sugar, and dusted with sugar.  There is a little bit of pumpkin flavoring in there, also.  I only had two slices.  B-friend double stacked his slices secretly (which resulted in four slices).  I caught him pumpkin handed.

And there was also pumpkin pie, pecan pie, and this great pumpkin cake that my sister made.  She named it Better Than Pumpkin Roll cake.  I can't tell you if it really was better than pumpkin roll, because my mom might be reading this, but I think my sister was really onto a close runner-up.

Me and B ate our food and were sent home with a majority of the leftovers.  During the final hours of our sugar indulgances, we accomplished to mow down four pieces of pumpkin roll, a couple slices of pecan pie, and about a quarter sheet of Better Than Pumpkin Roll cake.  It was a great way to put enough insulin in our bodies to last for the next thirty days.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The Beginning of Time

So if you ever had the desire to google paleo diet, you probably started reading about three sentences and got this weird look on your face.



 
 
I mean, really.  Why would anybody ever want to torture themselves and eat this way?
 
Like most crazy things in life, I did it because:
(choose one)
 
a) I am a strong, powerful, determined woman and love challenge
b) I have a moral obligation to eat in the way which humans were intended
c) I met a really cute boy who was into paleo
 
did you guess the correct answer? read on to find out!
 
So I thought - wow he is a total freak.  Does he ever go out to a decent restaurant?? How could I ever introduce him the family and have him over for Thanksgiving dinner?? And how can I raise our future gorgeous children on this diet??
 
By now you must have guessed that he was amazingly cute...
and had some other good traits, as well. 
 
The man never pushed his thoughts on me or made things inconvenient when we had dinner dates.  But I was a little overwhelmed with his passion for leafy greens. If it wasn't for his sausage, I would have taken him for some sort of rabbit decent.
 
Sausage.  I love me some sausage.  So that's when I decided maybe paleo was cooleo.  I could eat all the grass-fed fatty meats that my little heart desired.  And this man had a trailer full of meat.  Coolers and freezers full of meat.  A warehouse of meat.  More meat than I could ever fit into my little body!!
 
And it just so happened that two weeks after I started locking lips with this cutie, my colleagues decided to put together a Biggest Loser Challenge (which was later renamed the Smallest Gainer Challenge).  I was all in.  Meat man and I would be Paleo Pals.  Week 1 was great (down 2 lbs).  Week 2 was better (down another 2 lbs).  Week 3 was amazing (down 3 more lbs). I was doing awesome!  I was doing great!  I felt unbelievable! 
 
 
and then I had
some chips and salsa,
margaritas,
halloween candy (the trick or treaters were way too late to get any good stuff),
seasonal lager (screw you, Sam Adams).
 
UP 4 LBS :(
 
My experimental paleo diet went to the days of the dinosaurs.  Stupid Kit Kat Bars.